Fairfax, VA – Following the recent shooting attack at the Washington Naval Yard by civilian contractor Aaron Alexis, NRA President Wayne LaPierre lashed out at the “liberal media’s” obsession with gun violence.
“Sure, once again a bunch of people were killed by a crazy person and, yes, he used a firearm to carry out these hideous crimes,” a visibly upset LaPierre said. “But the gun-hating media will never tell you about all of the times that no one was shot and killed, or even injured, by a gun.”
“You guys flock to every murder scene as if it’s the first time in history some nut has used a gun to shoot someone and then you pour over every detail of the murder weapon like you’ve never heard of a gun before,” the NRA lobbyist complained, gesturing to all of the reporters present.
Citing a statistic that over 9,000 people have died due to gun related violence already this year, the gun spokesman stated that there were “way more” people who, in fact, weren’t shot to death. “And that’s definitely something that you won’t see when you turn on MSNBC tonight.”
“Tell me, where was Anderson Cooper this morning when I walked by a couple of black guys on the street and didn’t blow them away?” LaPierre asked. “I didn’t even consider it.”
“All of these mass shootings are just a series of false flag events anyways, staged by the US government in order to scare you into giving up your gun rights,” he added. “That’s pretty much obvious.”