Phoenix, AZ — An Arizona man got the surprise of his life when a ten dollar investment at a neighborhood garage sale this weekend turned him into a millionaire overnight.
35-year-old Paul Horner was out walking his dog Mac when he came upon a neighborhood yard sale and decided to stop. “I found an old Dell computer that my neighbor was selling for 15 dollars. I talked him down to ten,” Horner said. “When I got home and turned it on I found Word documents in one of the folders. There was password information for something called Bitcoins. So I logged in to the account and there was over 10,000 of these things. I quickly sold half of them and the other half I decided to keep.”
Bitcoins are a virtual currency facilitated by an open-source peer-to-peer cryptographic protocol that functions without the intermediation of any central authority. The concept was introduced in a 2008 paper by a pseudonymous developer known as “Satoshi Nakamoto” and have been in use since January of 2009.
“Things have been really going my way lately,” Horner told CNN. “I feel as if I have 6 million dollars and the biggest penis in the world… oh wait, I do.”
The Bitcoin took a huge step towards the mainstream on Monday when federal authorities signaled their willingness to accept it as a legitimate payment alternative. The Department of Justice and Securities and Exchange Commission told a U.S. Senate committee that Bitcoins are legitimate financial instruments.
Horner told reporters he plans to use the money to better mankind. “I told my neighbor who sold me the computer I’m giving him a million dollars. I’ll probably give my family a million dollars too. The rest I’ll use to buy a new house, probably buy a sweet nightclub, a helicopter or something, a dolphin costume, a couple cars, only important stuff. I always wanted to do two chicks at the same time. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, because chicks dig dudes with money.”