07302014Headline:

Kanye West Scheduled To Perform At Westboro Baptist Church Fred Phelps Funeral

kanye-west-fred-phelps-big-fanKanye West has been scheduled to perform at Fred Phelps funeral procession next week in Topeka, Kansas. The aging patriarch of the infamous Westboro Baptist church passed away yesterday afternoon shortly after he had been transferred to a local hospice center.

Although his funeral is being held in an undisclosed location to prevent counter-protests, It has been rumored that Kanye West volunteered to make an appearance to pay tribute to the man who spent his life publicly hating jews, homosexuals and protesting funerals of fallen war veterans.

When asked why West would be so eager to perform at the wake of a such an unsavory character, he reportedly blurted out the following;

“Fred was an artist. A misunderstood artist much like myself. His drug of choice was God and I respect that in a man. He was a genius, a celebrity. A celebrigenuis, if you will. I don’t care what none of y’all mother-(expletive) say! He did exactly what he wanted, whenever he wanted, how the (expletive) he wanted to! His life should be honored just like any great man’s life should be honored. He was right up there. Y’all got Martin Luther King, Idi Amin, Nelson Mandela, Robert Mugabe and now y’all got Fred mother-(expletive) Phelps.”


“His Drug Of Choice Was God And I Respect That In A Man. He Was A Genius And A Celebrity. A Celebrigenuis, If You Will…”
Kanye West-

Beyonce was asked to perform her smash hit “Halo” at the funeral procession, but she is said to have politely declined the offer. Kanye was more than happy to fill the slot, however.

Kanye is expected to deliver a festive rap-narration to a slideshow of Fred Phelp’s career. The coup de grace to the entire event will culminate in Kanye being crucified on a gigantic glowing white cross flanked by half a dozen ballet dancers holding portraits of Phelps, while 600 white doves are released into the sky. “It’s going to be the most important performance of my career” West stated.


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18 Responses to "Kanye West Scheduled To Perform At Westboro Baptist Church Fred Phelps Funeral"

  1. Cynthia says:

    Kanye makes a good point. I’m pretty busy but if Kanye’s going, I wanna be seen there too. Old Fred would probably get a kick out of this and I want to be there in case he sits up in his casket and starts barking shit about fags and such.

  2. lillian fabricant says:

    I liked him better when he was Eddie Murphy, esp. before all those trans hookers, when his movies were funny. I hate when perfectly American stars pick out a new ‘African” name or religion, usually when ticket sales slow at the box office or dead hookers show up when you search for them on the Google App. Kan ye pleeeeeease put on the fat lady dress again?, I say, kan’t ye?

    • Ray says:

      What the hell are you even saying…

      • Lillian Fabricant says:

        Thank you, Ray. My apologies, I certainly did not mean to imply Fred Phelps took an African hooker name and started a pretentious music career, if that’s what you are confused by. CAN you imagine!!??!! No, I meant that Eddie Murphy was just funnier before he became all thumb-piano-all-the-time and changed his name to get out of paying back taxes on his millions. Sorry I wasn’t clearer!

  3. Michele says:

    Chances are if he hated Gays and Jews, he didn’t like Blacks either. I think it is disgusting that he would even consider singing at the pathetic losers funeral. I never liked him before and this is a reason to continue not liking Kanye! Fred Phelps was probably a closeted gay person who was jealous that other people were able to come out. He was a sick piece of #48! He will get what is coming to him.

    • Tyler says:

      Actually, Fred Phelps was a huge Civil Rights supporter of the blacks. That’s how he started out in the 60′s. The gay beef he’s got is just ironic and bizarre.

  4. miller says:

    I think that Mr. Phelps and his family are, (were), one of the most misunderstood family’s in the country. As a compassionate citizen I abhor this misrepesentation of his character and the good works the he and his followers performed in my behalf. In ALL of our best interests. It is only fitting that he will be laid to eternal rest in Arlington next to the Tomb of the Unknown. I for one will be there in full dress. I do not have a uniform but I’m thinking I’ll go with the Von Furstenburg with pink ribbons and Dolce Gabbani pumps. With Lillian on my arm we will be smashing! I do worry that Kanye may become upset that we will upstage his Dior but we live in an era that calls for a Couch clutch at the very least and I will take my chances.

  5. RUTH says:

    Kanye has always been an asshole so I’m not surprised he would honor another asshole. Ever seen “little Nicky” movie? old Freddy is now picking out his pineapple

  6. kathy says:

    if Kanye does this I will have to quit watching the kardashians. if she married this idiot she must be just like him.

    • Tyler says:

      Agreed. I’m rather shocked that Kanye actually said that. I always thought he was supposedly cool. This would make him uncool and cause his official downfall.

    • hazel says:

      have you seen the kim and ray j sex video,,,she’s just as bad as kanye

  7. miller says:

    The Kardashians aren’t exactly noted for their towering intellect.

  8. K.N.I. says:

    he’s already getting shit for the cover of Vogue. does he really want to add onto it?

  9. CMP says:

    Very disappointed in Kanye West. Phelps was a bigot. Plain and simple. No Fags, no Jews and surely no Blacks. Unless, of course, now that Kanye is marrying a white girl he thinks he’s white by injection. Sorry to be so vulgar. But I find it vulgar that Kanye would be happy to support this. Just goes to show that Kanye is as dumb as he looks. Too bad :(

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