<National Report>The Fox television show COSMOS: A Spacetime Odyssey has attracted its fair share of detractors since the docudrama first aired on March 9th. But soon, the controversy revolving around the show might reach climactic new heights, as several State senators in Kansas will propose a bill on Thursday that would force Fox affiliates in their state to black out the science show completely.
The bill, which many are expecting will pass, would force local Kansas television stations affiliated with Fox to pay steep fines for airing the program. Should any network continue to air all thirteen episodes of the show’s first season, the State would move to revoke their broadcasting privileges completely, driving those networks off the air.
Conservative lawmakers in Kansas are, however, offering Fox a back door through which they could skirt the new law: they won’t press this law into effect if Fox will agree to immediately develop a new show, hosted by young-Earth creationist Ken Ham, which pushes the theories of so-called “intelligent design.” This new show would need to be aired on Sunday evenings, before Cosmos, in order for the small-time Fox affiliates to avoid Kansas’ legislative wrath.
The new bill is the brainchild of an ironically-named Kansas State Senator: Tom Edison (R). “Cosmos is a liberal brainwashing program, designed to force our children into questioning the existence of our lord and savior Jesus Christ,” Edison said during a recent interview on one of the Fox affiliates under the gun. “It’s a keystone of the liberal agenda that America’s youth be converted into following their so-called `logic,’ so conservatism dies out in a generation or two. Well, we aren’t going to stand for this. We aren’t going to let this TV show ruin our children.”
Edison went on to explain all the reasons why he “hates” the TV show. “This show has no basis in reality whatsoever. The host goes on and on about science and scientific method, but never once does he say anything positive about Jesus. He claims evolution and global warming are facts, not the opinions we all know them to really be. And he very proudly tells viewers that he wants our children to question authority, question religion and faith. This show won’t rest until all of our children are godless heathen liberals.”
His problems with Cosmos didn’t end there, either. “I’ve been watching this show since the first episode. They’ve gone to great lengths to claim Christianity has been terrible for science, and oppressive toward scientists. But then, last night [April 6th], the host goes on a huge tirade about how awesome Islam is and how the Arabs were all pro-science! So let me make sure I understand this… Christianity is evil, God doesn’t exist, and Muslims are the kindest people on Earth? This show is a scourge, and our black out bill is the cure.”
Opponents of the bill note that it’s a clear violation of the first amendment, and the federal government may intervene with legal actions of their own should the law pass. “This law clearly violates free speech, as well as the separation of church and state,” said a statement issued by the Justice Department. “If we need to take this fight all the way to the Supreme Court, we’re prepared to do so.”
But Edison claims he isn’t worried about any legal action taken against the bill by the Federal government. “Jesus will protect this bill and ensure its safe passage. These liberal science-lovers might question the power of the almighty, but real believers in Christ know that soon, these people are going to see real evidence of the existence of God, when he delivers us from this television show.”