<NR>I am honored to announce the upcoming Jeff Hanneman funeral protest and my new-found friendship with Shirley Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church. May 6th 2013 we are scheduled to picket at the funeral service of Slayer’s late guitarist, Jeff Hanneman. Having been an admirer of Shirey’s work for quite some time now I am proud to stand up as a witness to God’s glorious wrath. I will be present to declare my allegiance to Christ’s ferocious abhorrence of all things Slayer as well as to mock and taunt the hordes of sorrowful fans and family members as they shuffle along to pay their insincere respects to their worthless barbarian idol.
Since my original piece on Jeff Hanneman’s death I’ve received a monstrous load of vulgar e-mails from Slayer devotees. These rabid knuckle-draggers think they can mock my zeal for Christ and deny his scalding truths. Despite the relentless stream of contempt flooding my inbox, they all still seem to be oblivious to the fact that my glorious God is responsible for finally wiping their vile reprobate icon off the face of the earth after getting fed up with the atrocious din he created through his ridiculous band Slayer.
The Phelps family and myself expect our first amendment rights and our personal safety to be respected by fans who wish to attend his service. The local police department will be there to keep any unruly or intoxicated fanatics under control. The same enabling authorities who ensured Slayer were able to spread its cancerous racket worldwide for decades will also be present on May 6th to protect us from potential hassles.
As Daniel walked amongst the lion’s den without casualty (DANIEL 6:16) we will march proudly over the befouled soil under which Jeff’s Hanneman’s corpse shall rot.