04182014Headline:

You Will Not Believe What One Homeless Man Found In A Dumpster

homeless-man<NationalReport>A local homeless man made a horrific discovery last night when he found a discarded photo of a newborn infant in a Springfield, Illinois dumpster. Police are now looking for the person who callously left the photo of the newborn in the dumpster located just behind the Taco Bell on the corner of Lakeville Blvd and E. Washington Street.

Police crime scene investigators are now doing the painstaking work of going through hours and hours of closed circuit tape and have meticulously combed the area. They are also testing the photo for fingerprints or possible DNA. A police spokesperson stated that at this time, “Though we are obviously searching for a very sick individual”…there are no real leads, no one really knows how long the photo had been in there, and no report has been released on just the condition of the photograph was when it was discovered.

Sources close to the investigation though, revealed that given its conditions, the photo may have been in the dumpster for as long as three days . Fire Sauce (Taco Bell’s signature hot sauce), strands and bits of both a meat and cheese like substances have been detected, but given that it is a Taco Bell dumpster, that is not unusual, the spokesman added.

A teary eyed Julie Kolowski, who describes herself as a regular customer of Taco Bell, spoke with reporters, saying, “I eat here all the time, and to know that that picture has been out there the whole time gives me the creeps. It’s just so sad to think of people driving by when all the time the picture of that little newborn was lying in there alone. If you have children and you truly love them, go home and hug their pictures tonight.”

Leonard Parsons, assistant night manager and team supervisor for the Taco Bell added, “This is just inhuman. That picture never had a chance. So sad to think that it was just unwanted, thrown away like a piece of garbage. You read about this kind of thing and you see it on the news, but you never expect it to happen where you live. I guess no one is immune from tragedy. The person who did it is obviously troubled, but that’s no excuse.” Parsons went on to say that Taco Bell employees have started a fund to help with the cost of restoring the photo, that is, “if it can be saved”.

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3 Responses to "You Will Not Believe What One Homeless Man Found In A Dumpster"

  1. Lillian Fabricant Lillian Fabricant says:

    Thank you for reporting on this disgusting story Mr. Wallace. What kind of awful woman just throws away her baby’s Head Shot or cheesecake poses in a smelly garbage can, P.U.? Was there any information available about whether the infant in the photo was illegal or not, or ugly in some other way? Given that it’s image was found in a Taco Bell (gross), I wouldn’t be surprised if actual American babies, who can or will eventually speak english only, growing up in the locale have had greater difficulty getting themselves into photographs or chalk portraits. I wonder if the dumpster baby photo is just another Obama-planted false flag to distract from the health tax and Ban Ghazi debacles. Just don’t tell me that the picture is of a baby in Hawaii or Kenya…I haven’t got enough pictures of clean diapers to deal with THAT!

  2. How callous! How can people just throw away cherished memories?

  3. Paul Bodnick says:

    Always trust the homeless

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