The Federal Emergency Management Agency has officially opened their first “Political Realignment Facility,” more famously known as a “concentration camp” or “death camp,” in an area southwest of Willcox, Arizona on Thursday, according to an official FEMA press release. The agency plans on opening another four such facilities in 2015, and plans to have twelve up and running before the 2016 elections.
The first facility, designated as “Camp Alpha,” is built on nearly 500 acres of Federal property near the Chiricahua national park in southwest Arizona. FEMA says the camp can hold as many as 10,000 Americans, with barracks-style living accommodations, a large cafeteria, and prison-like security perimeters and features, as well as facilities for FEMA personnel to “conduct the business of the facility” and both open-air and underground labor facilities to quote “keep inmates occupied and, when needed, separate.”
The facilities, which were ordered and authorized through two-dozen executive orders by President Barack Obama the day he took office on January 20th, 2009, will serve as special camps for conservative-leaning Americans who openly dissent against the Obama Administration and the Democratic party, through Facebook status updates, Tweets, blog posts, or in private conversations intercepted by FEMA.
Once conservatives have been rounded up, FEMA will use enhanced interrogation techniques and “Clockwork Orange”- style machinery to effectively brainwash the conservatism out of an inmate, after which they can be reentered into the population with a more liberal, progressive worldview.
In an email sent only to registered DCCC members in February, FEMA showcased the effectiveness of their political realignment program with a summary report of one “John-227,” a test subject from 2013. This individual, whose real name has not been released, was “as conservative as a person can be.” FEMA identified him as a man who “drives a pickup truck, only listens to country music, goes to church every Sunday, hates gays, and is convinced President Obama is a Muslim from Kenya.”
But after a mere four days of political realignment, John-227 “became everything the Obama administration wants an American citizen to be. He’s now lovingly engaged to his homosexual partner. He drives a Prius. He has two cats. His favorite show is `Girls’ on HBO. He’s developed a gluten allergy and he’s a full-blown vegetarian now. And most importantly, he’s quit his job and is fully dependent on the government for sustenance, which is exactly what we want for all Americans.”
It is unclear what FEMA will do with those inmates who do not take to their procedures, though they’ve made it a point of identifying Nazi Germany as “A source of inspiration” and referring to the holocaust as “an eye-opening event in world history.”
FEMA says all twelve of their camps will be open and fully operational by September 1st, 2016. Their facilities in Wyoming, Texas, and Tennessee are set to be open before the end of the year, while the remaining eight facilities, in Georgia, Mississippi, Alaska, Iowa, New Hampshire, Minnesota, Nevada, and Florida, will have ground broken before January 1st as well.