Menlo Park, CA — Beginning October 1st, Facebook will be implementing a drug task force designed to arrest those who buy and sell narcotics while using the online social networking site. Facebook is calling the group the Facebook Drug Task Force, or FDTF, and will be monitoring all postings and messages created by its users.
Chairman and chief executive of Facebook, Inc., Mark Zuckerberg, spoke with CNN about the FDTF. “The task force was created to keep users of Facebook safe,” Zucckerberg said. “The FDTF will be working directly with the Drug Enforcement Agency and local law enforcement agencies. We’re gonna put away the bad guys.” Zuckerberg continued, “Online crime has risen to all-time highs. As the world’s number one social networking site I feel it is our job to protect our users from such deadly things as drugs.”
Paul Horner, spokesman for the DEA, told reporters he is excited to see Facebook going forward with their decision to implement a drug task force. “I’m thrilled,” Horner said. “We’re going to get all the drug pushers and dope addicts off Facebook once and for all. The marijuana junkies think they can socialize on the line with their fellow druggies, well, not on my watch. We’re gonna read their messages, we’re gonna build cases against them, and we’re gonna put em’ all in prison. It’s going to be beautiful.”
36-year-old Brandon Huigens, a member of Anonymous, a loosely associated international network of activist and hacktivist entities, spoke with MSNBC about drugs on Facebook. “Everyone should protect themselves by downloading and using TOR, it’s that simple,” Huigens said. “This hides your identity on the internet. Another suggestion I can make to avoid trouble is, don’t talk about drugs on Facebook. Yes, someone is reading what you are typing. Don’t talk about sketchy stuff unless you don’t mind someone else reading it.”
UPDATE 8/21/14: First Facebook Drug Task Force Arrest Has Been Made
Jumping the gun before the official kickoff of the controversial program in October, the Facebook Drug Task Force made their first and official drug bust since the corporate giant began monitoring its users drug activity.
Facebook initially reported the user monitoring would not begin until October 1st, however they said the bold action to move early was to “catch the druggies off guard”. Facebook Police Officer Jesse Fitzmaurice, the arresting officer, spoke with CNN about the historic arrest.
“It was beautiful. I didn’t have a warrant, but I was pretty sure I heard a young woman inside the house begging for her life, so I immediately entered the residence, which smelt like old pizza boxes and dirty socks which I can only assume were being used as some sort of Pagonistic Ritual. I saw the two suspects in my scopes, on their Facebooks, socializing with their loser junkie friends, probably talking about how many pounds of reefer they’re gonna inject that day, and then bam! I grabbed those junkies throats and told them they were going to pound town. Two more marijuana addicts off the street, feelsgoodman.jpg.”
Facebook has setup a 24-hour hotline to answer any questions or comments about the drug task force and can be reached at (785) 273-0325.
VIDEO: Facebook Police Prosecutes First Drug Bust