09162014Headline:

Clippers Sign LeBron, Announce Move to Las Vegas

Shockwaves Felt League Wide

The New Logo of the soon-to-be Las Vegas Gamblers of the NBA

The New Logo of the soon-to-be Las Vegas Gamblers of the NBA

By: Cassidy Pen, TNReport Sports Reporter

Las Vegas — Get ready for the NBA’s newest franchise shift. Donald Sterling, the embattled Clippers owner, today made not one, but two startling announcements sure to upend the NBA power structure.

Get ready for the Las Vegas Gamblers, who will play at the new MGM-AEG Arena, starting in 2016. The facility will seat 22,000 for basketball in the NBA’s first retractable roof arena.

Las Vegas, also attempting to lure an NHL Franchise, will add basketball to the list of events planned at the new arena. Ultimate boxing and a major political convention are also projected for the new Las Vegas Stage. Numerous concert acts will play the arena, including a full week residency by psychedelic phunk group, The Phish.

Advanced Gamblers season ticket requests virtually guarantee a sold out house for each home game in the inaugural season.

LeBron will join the Clippers

LeBron will join the Clippers

Reporters, still abuzz over the franchise move, were given the second blockbuster announcement, the signing of superstar LeBron James to the Clippers, making them an instant favorite to win next year’s NBA Finals, according to Las Vegas odds-makers.

LeBron joins Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, and a host of very talented role players who won last year’s Pacific Division Title before bowing to the Oklahoma City Thunder in the playoffs. The team will intimidate the opposition next year with a superior starting lineup of James and Griffin at forward, Deandre Jordan at Center, Paul and J.J. Redick at Guard. The record 72 win total put up by the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls is in serious jeopardy.

Sterling, who once vowed to never sell the Clippers, was reportedly granted an offer he couldn’t refuse to sell his share of the franchise to an anonymous group of investors representing interests in a number of major cities. In a secret meeting at an undisclosed Nevada desert location, terms of the sale were agreed on by Sterling and the above mentioned family syndicate. Sterling will save face since the franchise will no longer be named “Clippers.”

Sports betting has increased by 35% in sin city, according to casino bookmakers, mostly basketball based.

Tickets go on sale next week for the Clippers final season in Los Angeles.




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3 Responses to "Clippers Sign LeBron, Announce Move to Las Vegas"

  1. August Weisz says:

    Wow. The eastern division is weaker than a gay Mexican.

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