07162018Headline:
Melania

Melania Trump To Promote Healthy School Lunches, More Exercise As First Lady

THE WHITE HOUSE — Melania Trump wasted no time in announcing her pet project as the nation’s 45th first lady. During a luncheon hosted by outgoing first lady Michelle Obama, Mrs. Trump said she wanted American children to adopt healthier [...]

Trump to Nominate Chris Christie to Supreme Food Court

TRUMP TOWER – President-Elect Donald J. Trump has reportedly assured NJ Governor Chris Christie that, despite recent reports, he has not been banished from his inner circle, and will nominate the Bridgegate behemoth to the Supreme Food Court. “Mr. [...]

Flint Tap Water Rated More Trustworthy than Hillary Clinton

A new survey released today from the Make Michigan Great Again PAC shows that residents across the state rated Flint tap water higher on the ‘Trustworthiness’ scale than democratic nominee for President, Hillary Rodham Clinton. In the [...]

Donald Trump Hires ‘Clueless’ Stacey Dash for ‘Negro Outreach Program’

TRUMP TOWER — With his poll numbers among black voters hovering around 1%, presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump reportedly tapped actress and FOX News contributor Stacey Dash as his “Negro Outreach Program” Ambassador. “She connects [...]

Sarah Palin Calls for an End to Women’s Suffrage: “We’ve Suffered Enough!”

// WASILLA, Alaska — In a series of now deleted Facebook posts, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said voting for Hillary Clinton would “tarnish the silver strides women have made throughout history’s golden arches ever since the Bronze [...]

Obama to Send Large Shipment of ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ to Texas Flood Victims

Houston, TX- Massive flooding this week left at least two dead and millions homeless as the administration scrambles to deploy thoughts and prayers to local governments in coordination with FEMA and other disaster relief agencies. “We’re [...]