06252017Headline:

Trojan Name New Ultra-Thin Skin Condom after Donald Trump

Trojan, the world leader in modern condom technology, announced today the company has developed the world’s thinnest-skin condom to date, and will market the new condom after the thinnest-skinned man to ever run for President of the United [...]

Canada Offers to Build Wall Around Bristol Palin’s Vaginal Cavity

TORONTO – A northern firestorm erupted earlier today when an off-the-record comment made by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was leaked to the outside press. During an interview with the CBC Thursday morning, Trudeau made what some [...]

Sarah Palin Bans Muslims from Entering Bristol Palin

  Wasilla, AK – Conservative superstar Sarah Palin says she supports Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump’s call for a ban on admitting Muslims into the United States, stating she once put a similar ban in place while she [...]

Millions Mourn As Rocker/Activist Ted Nugent, Age 68, Found Alive

Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, [...]

Woman Comes Forward With Shocking Allegation: “I Was Not Raped By Bill Cosby”

<National Report>In a shocking turn of events, area woman Joyce Taylor has broken her silence and proclaimed, “I was not raped by Bill Cosby.”  This news came on the day that two more defendants joined in the growing defamation [...]

Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say

<National Report>This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that [...]