02252017Headline:

Fundamentalist Pastor Defecates Inside Target Fitting Room

By Rick Stevenson Earlier this week, one of the nation’s largest retailers announced that it will allow transgender people to use the restroom or fitting room of their choosing, regardless of gender identity. Like many other controversial [...]

Meet Bernie Sanders: The Other White Candidate

VERMONT – In a shockingly unbuzzworthy statement, Independent Senator, Bernie Sanders has announced his candidacy for the Democratic Nomination for President. The news, if you can call it that, almost made headlines this week as Senator [...]

Mother Shot While Holding Baby During Gun Safety Class

JOHNSTON, Iowa – The fastest growing target market for guns and shooting activities is now female, and escalating reports of carjackings – deliberately aimed at young women with babies on board – gave one young Iowa mother the idea [...]

The True Story of Christmas – Child Friendly Version for the Whole Family

By Nigel J. Covington III Editor-in-Chief Note: Merry Christmas to all our readers from the National Report. Our writer’s and staff appreciate your support and want to give back to the community. During 2014 we more than doubled in size [...]

Michael Sam To Form Gay Football League

<National Report> Michael Sam, 2014 GQ Man of the Year and the first openly gay player drafted by the NFL, announced his intention to form the nation’s first gay football league. Waived by the Dallas Cowboys just seven weeks after [...]

Gov. Palin Calls for Obama’s “Inpeachment” in Series of Unfortunate Gaffes

<NationalReport>Tea Party darling Sarah Palin made headlines today for an unfortunate series of what can only be described as gaffes as Ms. Palin on multiple occasions called for the “inpeachment” of President Barack Obama.  [...]

Colorado Pot Shop Accepting Food Stamps – Taxpayer Funded Marijuana for Welfare Recipients

<National Report>As of January 1st, 2014, Colorado became the first state in the nation to allow adults aged 21 or older to purchase and use marijuana for recreational use. The decision has led to excessively large lines at pot shops [...]

Obama to Grant Asylum to 500,000 (Mostly Muslim) Syrian Refugees

<NationalReport>Washington, DC–Several high ranking Democratic officials were spotted late this evening leaving the famed Capitol Hill watering hole Tortilla Coast.  On the menu, discussions of President Obama’s decision [...]

Scientists Discover Link Between Exposure to Cat Feces and Juggaloism

Scientists at the Wyoming Institute of Technology (WIT) have uncovered a shocking link between a disease transmitted through cat feces, called toxoplasmosis, and Juggaloism. Previous studies have indicated that pregnant women are especially [...]

Defiant Palin Takes A Stand For Freedom and Big Gulps

Tea Party darling Sarah Palin made a splash at this weekend’s CPAC Conference by taking a defiant stand against the oppressive rule of the Obama Administration.  The dazed and confused former half-term Governor, and failed Vice Presidential [...]

Marijuana Kills! Fatal Strain of Cannabis Claims First Victim in California Town

By Nigel J. Covington, III <NationalReport> Local Marijuana addicts in one small high Sierra, California, town have nick-named some “KGB” (Killer Green Bud) the “Deadly Dank,” after the chemically altered Marijuana [...]