Director Ang Lee has announced the signing of a deal with New Line Cinema to produce and direct a Guerilla-style, real time re-enactment of the U.S. Government’s attempts to track, locate, capture and whatever else may happen to Edward Snowden, the NSA security leaker whose whereabouts remain unknown at this time despite an ongoing massive global search for the international refugee.
Snowden is now believed to be hiding in Venezuela, according to oppressed news analysts from that country’s besieged and currently outlawed communications industry. Investigative journalists, for whom anonymity was a requirement of speaking with a representative of The National Report, have said massive numbers of security details have been mobilizing in the streets of Caracas since yesterday morning, and Mr. Snowden’s alleged flight was said to have arrived in Caracas last night.
Venezuelan soldiers have been clearing crowds, stopping broadcasts, setting up inspection points and buying unsold papers in a blizzard of efforts to suppress information, though the Government there has yet to make a statement about what information it is they would like people to not know, let alone the reasons for the heavy military build up and police presence that it is aggressively pursuing, with palpable urgency, but no explanation.
According to Jose Josesitos, a photojournalist relying on disguised, hand painted mango-shaped cameras and who uses a home made camouflaged sombrero recorder device to illegally document the tense activities going on, anyone with eyes can see that starting from the airport, proceeding all the way along the old jungle road (The Juggaloroanda) that skirts the eastern borders of the city, and then down the new Chavez Freedom Highway, where it cuts upland and into the city, and then, finally, winding its way downtown to the Caracas Four Seasons there can be seen a virtual ‘trenos’ (train) of tanks and black limos and jeeps full of armed guards that have brusquely cleared all the streets, breaking any phones or cameras they see, and upsetting the mumbly,toothless old ladies selling flower petals or sugar disks all along the route described.
Famous Asian Director Ang Lee, who insists he is not angry, said he was very very very excited to embark on the new project, which he says will get under way ‘velly quickry’ once the reunited cast of the television show are gathered, and have finished picking out which dinner they want on the plane they will be acting on, as they trace the path and events of Snowden’s escape from justice. The lensing of the experimental film can begin as soon as the actors fasten their safety belts!
Ang Lee, who almost won an award for his last film, “Life of Pi”, was very enthused by the conceit of this new, easier to make film, pausing between eggrolls and fried rice eaten with chopsticks(!) to point out, again, that what happens in the new film is that all of the cast from E.R., the ones that no longer get work anyway, and Daniel Radcliffe, will simultaneously be portraying, as a group, the ‘snitch of the century’, which is just one of the possible titles attached to the project that many hollywood insiders are calling simply “Snowdown”.
Maura Tierney, who could never quite satisfy George Clooney’s character on the popular, long-running medical dramedy, said she was relishing the challenge of performing in real time things that were going to be told to the actors when they actually happened, not way later once Snowden disappears for good, is killed or exonerated. She insisted on adding, kind of seriously, “An Actor’s tool is her mind, her voice, and some complicated body parts that try to get in front of other actors, but with all of us playing the same character that will be much less of a problem, I think.” Ms. Tierney then winked one eye at me and bugged out the other at a schedule taped to the wall, tapping her nose while making a sly duck face and whispering pointedly (but like it was a secret), ”George Clooney.”
Mr. Lee indicated he hoped this film could be the beginning of a franchise, and rubbed his tiny little hands together really fast for a long time, though the three- or four-time academy award winner coyly did not specify if the sequel would be about the further pursuit across the globe of Edward Snowden, or if it were to be a film of The cast of E.R. recreating the flight path of some other whistleblower, or even if perhaps it would be the very same Snowden story he is about to begin shooting, but performed with the reunited cast from an entirely different show. The highly respected director, known for painstakingly creating realistic fantasy settings, and for getting big name male stars to spit on each other’s junk in front of a camera, stared up at the sky through the slits of a miniblind in his petite office and sighed dreamily, wistfully and said to himself, but actually my tape recorder was still on,”Seinfeld…Friends…Roseanne. Seinfeld…Friends…Roseanne.”