10242014Headline:

Al Sharpton Buys L.A. Clippers, Vows To End Racism In NBA

Al Sharpton smokes a celebratory cigar after purchasing the L.A. Clippers

Al Sharpton smokes a celebratory cigar after purchasing the L.A. Clippers

Just moments after the L.A. Clippers finished off the Golden State Warriors, 126-121, to move to Round Two of the NBA Playoffs, a secret meeting took place to discuss the future of the Clippers franchise. This meeting was held in a high security location, to ensure no recording devices were used, but the National Report has an insider who spoke to us under the condition that his name was never released publicly. We would like to thank Chris Paul for his anonymous comments about this meeting between Al Sharpton and members of Donald Sterling’s legal team and business advisors (apparently Donald was unavailable for the meeting, most likely due to the fact it was with a black man).

Al Sharpton and Chris Paul posing together, moments after the sale was finalized

Al Sharpton and Chris Paul posing together, moments after the sale was finalized

According to our source, the only condition that Al Sharpton requested was the ability to terminate any contract for players or staff immediately after the 2014 season ends, and Donald Sterling will be required to pay them out for the remainder of their contracts. This didn’t seem unusual, since new owners normally want their own personnel involved in a transition, but when Sharpton requested to see only contracts of White employees of the franchise, it set off warning bells in many of the meeting participant’s minds. Bystanders say that Sharpton was talking about ending racism in sports once and for all, by removing White people from the ranks. Money was the final factor though, after offering over $1.8 billion for the franchise, the attorneys and advisors for Sterling were heard giggling and then instantly saying “Deal”. This is the most money ever paid for a professional sports franchise, and the second most ever paid to finance an absurd political agenda (Obama’s two campaigns hold the record for absurd political agendas).

Al Sharpton poses with the women who brought Don Sterling to the point of selling the Clippers.

Al Sharpton poses with the women who brought Don Sterling to the point of selling the Clippers.

There are a few issues still clouding this sale though, and Mel Gibson or Paula Deen still have an opportunity to buy this team, if Al Sharpton can’t collect enough SNAP cards and welfare checks, or the procedes from stolen bikes and video game stations from his supporters in 90 days. Al Sharpton is notoriously broke, and uses television appearances and lawsuits to make ends meet, so it would be next to impossible for him to pay $1.8 billion on his own, but he has asked Beyonce, Jay-Z, Kanye, B.E.T. Network and Oprah to help end racism in the NBA, along with a badly worded Kickstarter drive, it may come together for him.

Blake Griffin:  WTF is he?  Seriously?  Nobody seems to know.

Blake Griffin: WTF is he? Seriously? Nobody seems to know.

The last mystery surrounding this buyout, no matter whether Sharpton, Gibson or Deen buys them, is what will happen to Blake Griffin? Sharpton hates all Whites and wants them to go back to Europe. Deen hates the Blacks, and wants them to go back to Africa or Mexico. Gibson hates the Jews, and Blake Griffin has been seen eating at Kosher restaurants many times. What is in store for the guy that nobody can figure out what race he is? All I know is, Donald Sterling is making out like a bandit, and enjoying his relaxing life. Maybe Bill Gates should go on tape saying that the sweatshop workers in the Philippines are over charging him at $.20 a day, then he can sell and retire too.

Donald Sterling relaxing after his billion dollar payday.

Donald Sterling relaxing after his billion dollar payday.

What Next?

Related Articles

4 Responses to "Al Sharpton Buys L.A. Clippers, Vows To End Racism In NBA"

  1. miller says:

    I applaud this move by Rev. Sharpton. It is my understanding that he intends to hire Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Jeremiah Wright as GM and Operations Mgr. They hope to persuade Phil Jackson to become the new coach. They intend to trade the current team and recruit a new team of all Caucasian players with the goal of re-creating the glory days of earlier Boston Celtic championship teams. They do realize that this will require enticing players from Russia and Greece to move to the U.S. which will not be an easy task. As Rev. Sharpton has been quoted as saying, “Our new management is aware of the challenge ahead but we will be all over this like white on rice.”

  2. suitcase says:

    With this move, maybe the NBA will start crediting their black players with some MVP awards, and not always giving the awards to YT.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Donald Sterling was also racist against white people too. Sterling is jewish, not white.

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nba/playoffs/2014/05/04/donald-sterling-jj-redick-los-angeles-clippers-owner-racism-ban/8698265/

    JJ Reddick: “I’ve been told both ways: one, that he didn’t want to pay me because I was white, and that he didn’t want to pay me because I was a bench player,” Redick said. “I didn’t know (the deal almost fell apart) until after the fact. I just got a weird phone call from Doc on July 4, and I got off the phone and said to my wife, ‘Something’s going on.’ He’s like, ‘You better play for me (expletive).’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, that’s the plan. We figured this out two days ago, right?’

    http://fansided.com/2014/04/29/nba-rumors-donald-sterling-didnt-think-j-j-redick-deserved-big-contract-white/

    According to Adrian Wojnarowski, Sterling nearly nixed the sign-and-trade deal for Redick because he though $27 million was too much for a white player.

    So, long after all the media circus, we know the truth. The NBA is bigoted against white players. It is so obvious that they have to stage stunts to take the heat off them. Maybe white fans are beginning to notice that these jewish owners are racist against whites? We see this same jewish racism against whites in Ivy League college admissions, there’s Tim Wise and Noel Ignatiev, Robert Reich, etc.

    • The Pensioner says:

      So what you’re saying is that the NBA is bigoted against white players? And here I always thought that the reason, that whiteys are the first players to be cut, was that they can’t jump…

Leave a Reply

Submit Comment