10302014Headline:

Mexican President Nieto Annexes SW US

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The Mexican government is insisting upon a return to pre-Mexican-American War borders.

MEXICO CITY- <National Report> Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto issued a proclamation today declaring that his government is no longer recognizing the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo and the Gadsden Purchase as valid, and that the southwest United States is rightfully the ancestral territory of the Mexican people.  Nieto said that his government will immediately begin re-integrating the territory.

“We’ve already taken care of the hard part,” he said.  “There are more Mexicans than Americans in Texas, California, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, and Utah.  Well, maybe not Utah.”

Nieto indicated that he was pleased with the progress of Mexican citizens illegally entering the United States, and said that his agents were in place to make the transition as seamless as possible.

“Nobody in Phoenix, L. A., Albuquerque, or Reno is going to notice any difference,” he said.  “And John Kerry is in full support of our position.  This move represents justice for the millions of Mexicans who have, until now, had to live as second-class citizens in a land that is rightfully theirs.”

Mexican President Enrique Iglesias Nieto

Mexican President Enrique Iglesias Nieto

When pressed further by an American reporter about the logic of the move, Nieto said, “You stole half our country, gringo.  Furthermore, you stole the half with all the paved roads.”

Nieto explained, “A Mexican living in San Antonio is no different from a Palestinian living in Tel Aviv.  We were there first, and were forced out by a hostile invader.  We are no longer going to submit to an occupation that is unlawful.  Those territories belong to the Mexican people, because we were the ones who stole it from the Navajos, Apaches, and the Yumas centuries before any pasty Norte Americanos made it west of Chattanooga, Tennessee.”

Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren released a statement claiming that, in addition to being Native American, she is also Mexican, and is planning on running for Governor of California.  “There’s no reason I can’t be a senator in one country and a governor in another, is there?  I don’t know.  My background is in bankruptcy law.”

When told about the development, United States President Obama crushed a perfect drive for 220 yards off the third tee at Belvior and said, “Oh, he got all of that one!”



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8 Responses to "Mexican President Nieto Annexes SW US"

  1. The Pensioner says:

    Dang nabbit, I hate moving. I guess that I just have to learn to speak Spic.

    • Prophet Adame says:

      I am a third generation American of Mexican descent and I find it morally offensive what the President of Mexico has declared. I guess he doesn’t really have anything else to do other that threaten the legal sovereign of OUR Border. I also find it offensive that this man is trying to equate this so called border dispute as the same as the Israeli and Palestinian problem. Here in America all Latinos have found a better opportunity peace, liberty and prosperity than they would have in their native countries. And I believe we need to guard our borders with our military and return to and enforce the present laws of immigration. If we need immigration reform it would be the following STOP ALL IMMIGRATION from MUSLIMS COUNTRIES because it will not be “SPIC” that you will have to learn BUT ARABIC!

  2. msmdiver says:

    Well, I guess at least this war will be over our home turf, it give us a chance to clean things up south of the border. The only real question is “How much of Mexico do we want to bring under the US flag this time?”

    What a lousy excuse for a national leader. I know, I know – a bit of the pot calling the kettle black. It would seem they’re both graduates from the same political science program. Nieto’s got enough other issues to deal with, and this is what he does? Obama must really like this guy.

    • US Veterans says:

      President Nieto is a idiot. He says he was the first
      to still the SW land from the Indians. So bcz the USA stole from the Mexicans he calls that unlawful. So what do you call what they did when they stole from the Indians. LMBO! #

    • Mark Goldstein says:

      both of them are morons and it is time for both of them to be locked up in a mental hospital and have shock treatment without benefit of anesthesia and maybe this will bring both to their senses. Kerry needs to be on trial with his king for treason and both should be taken to the gallows and dropped at the same time and they can greet each other in hell

  3. Heath says:

    maybe wen the war breaks out we can go ahead and conquer parts of mexico and expand our own territory.

  4. Geneva says:

    I believe that a$$h*le just declared war!

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